THREE cheers, hip hip hurray! For global warming has finally been defeated!

Many thanks and congratulations must go to Al Gore, the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) and the signatories of the Kyoto Protocol – for their efforts to combat global warming have shown astounding success.

Even though restrictions on carbon emissions are just being implemented and carbon dioxide levels are still rising, the wave of good intentions alone seems to be enough to lower global temperatures.

In Buenos Aires, it snowed for the first time in 89 years. Chile lost hundreds of millions of dollars in crops and livestock due to the harshest winter in 50 years. Hundreds of people died from cold in Peru.

Australia had its coldest ever summer. Johannesburg, South Africa finally had significant snowfall in 25 years. Cities across the US experienced record or near record snow, as much as 1.13m thick.

Globally, this year has been the coldest since 2001, with record high ice levels in Antarctica. Even the poor polar bears can stop worrying now, as their population has increased by 20,000 since 1940.

This amazing reversal of the much-touted warming trend must certainly be the result of enough people watching An Inconvenient Truth and wishing global warming away – and not due to patently absurd explanations such as natural fluctuations in solar activity, or shifts in the tilt of the Earth’s axis.

The above fact is undeniably proven by IPCC-style scientific consensus, as global warming activists were observed getting caught off-guard by the instantaneous effects of their efforts. Their anti-global warming awareness campaigns were so successful, they had to be called off midway due to frostbite, blizzards or their yatch getting trapped by sea ice.

Scott Thong
Ipoh